“There have been so many times when I was scared to speak up because I was afraid somebody would think I was crazy.”

Britney Spears

“She’s so lucky, she’s a star, but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking, If there’s nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?” Britney’s hit song “Lucky” rings familiar in my ears as I read her memoir. She’s finally showing us what’s behind the curtains and it’s raw, sad and lonely back there, all I wanted to do was hug her.
I never thought I could relate so much to Chris Crocker but here we are.

My initial reaction is that the ghost writer did a fantastic job of capturing Britney’s voice and making this sound like she’s speaking directly to us. It feels like friends chatting over a cup of coffee (or glass of wine for that matter.)

My second reaction is that this novel feels too small for the greatness that Britney was and is. It’s slightly reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe’s “My story” in its size and honest telling straight from the source. But with little detail about the grandness of their legacy. It’s almost as if they don’t know how much they have impacted the world. Britney doesn’t boast much, but rather says that she had the bestselling album at the time “so someone told me”. Almost like she had a hard time believing it herself. It feels fragile somehow. The princess of pop and pop culture as we knew it was dancing on a bum knee, just waiting to break.

And break it did. In so many different ways. Many will argue that she couldn’t handle the pressure, or that she was drunk, or on drugs or whatever – basically what everyone wants to do – is blame Britney for Britneys demise. But was it really her fault? I want to say no. While she in absolutely no way, shape or form takes responsiblility here for any of her actions, she does admit to them. But she asks a perfectly valid question: What what I did so wrong? And the answer to that question, everytime, is no. Because, ask yourself, what did she really do that was so wrong? That we have the impression that she needed “help”. Go partying with her friends? Shave her head? Date a guy we didn’t like? Get drunk married in vegas? Have sex? Are any of these things grounds for losing your autonomy? If so, I think a lot of us might be in trouble.

She digs into it al and sets the record straight from her perspective. Which must be cleansing, to finally get to say the things you didn’t say back then. To when she was being harrassed by Diane Sawyer, papparazzi, ex-boyfriends and then judged by the world. It must feel good to finally say your peace, and we are listning Britney, and we all agree – the 2000’s owe you an apology. That was a crazy time to be alive, let alone be a celebrity the size of Britney. But even after all that, I wish there was more about her career, about the passion and the love of it all. About the milestones and records she broke. But I guess after all these years under water it’s hard to resurface and still carry those things up with you.

It’s clear through the narrative here that Britney was and is the real deal. Narratives was placed on her, by her team and by the media. But in reality she had nothing to do with it. She didn’t understand it, but trusted those around her and went along with it. Nothing is or was planned or calculated from her side, but she was used as a pawn for other peoples careers and financial gain. (Honestly I think she still is, but it’s hard to navigate who want’s to help and who wants a piece of the cake.)

I believe to this day that Britney doesn’t have it in her to be strategic about things, because the book itself feels like a lost opportunity for something bigger. It also feels like it wasn’t well planned or executed. It feels rushed. Was this also an exploitation or is she not great in business or have the right people around her helping her with her deals?

Why was the book on 50% sale at Waterstones the day before it was released? Why was it dropped on audio streaming apps immediately and not an audible exclusive? I’d like to see Simon and Schuster answer to that. Feels like a lazy roll out with ALL the leaks. (We expect some, but come on!)

Britney seems like the sweetest girl, someone who does all she can to please those around her, and she keeps being used and abused because of her kindness.
I only hope she’ll surround herself with better people from here on out. And I hope she finds her strenght.
With a family like hers, who needs enemies? Truly! She should hang out with Jennette McCurdy – I’m sure they’d have a lot to talk about!

Is the book worth it? That depends, If you’re a fan, definitely! It’s a must read!

If you’re not a fan of Britney, but enjoy pop-culture it shows you how controlling and damaging the industry can be if your don’t have the right support network around you. It’s like the Stanford prison experiment happened right in front of our eyes and the only ones to react was the #freebritney movement. Read it! It’s unbelievable! Or listen, because Michelle Williams is brilliant when she’s narrating JT being gangsta and not pronouncing the word “tour”.

If you don’t follow or enjoy pop culture, don’t know any of the references or lived under a rock the entire 2000’s, you can skip this one. But then you’re probably not reading this either.